


All I want is you

by Marittimo



Series: There's always a space in my heart for you [2]
Category: 24 (TV)
Genre: Apologies, Baking, Chappelle is a great friend, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Presents, Comfort, Falling In Love, First Time, Handcuffs, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeup Sex, Morning After, Moving In Together, Nightmares, Power Play, Regret, posing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27516316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marittimo/pseuds/Marittimo
Summary: "Why did you run?" Chappelle finally asked Tony when he seemed to have calmed down, not trying to judge him, but rather genuinely curious about his friend's motivations.Tony looked up shocked, as if he shouldn't even have to explain it to him. "Isn't it obvious? He's straight, Ryan! And all he did was because he was either lonely, horny, or because he thought he owed me." He pointed out, disgusted by that last possibility. "Whywouldn'tI run?"
Relationships: Tony Almeida/Jack Bauer
Series: There's always a space in my heart for you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042143
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Friends will be friends

Ryan Chappelle was getting ready for work like any other day.  
He had got up and showered, got dressed and made his bed, and was now enjoying his toast with jam when suddenly someone knocked on his door.

No, Chappelle realized, _knocking_ wouldn't be the appropriate word for it. It seemed like the person outside was rather trying to take down the door with their fists.

Looking out of the peephole Chappelle was taken slightly aback and opened the door quickly.  
"Tony, you look like shit." He greeted him, trying to mask his confusion.  
Tony just chuckled bitterly. "Ever tactful, Ryan."

"Well, come on in." He replied after Tony had already walked past him, turning questioningly to his friend after having closed the door. "What happened?"

Tony hesitated for a moment, then just shook his head. "I... I really shouldn't tell you." He finally said, looking down not to meet his eyes.  
"Alright, then don't." Chappelle replied calmly. "Want something? I've got coffee, some milk and cookies, tea..."

Tony smiled. He knew Ryan wouldn't push him, would leave his curiosity aside and let it be if that was what Tony wanted, and Tony was incredibly grateful for their friendship.  
"Coffee would be great, thanks."

They sat there quietly for a moment after that, Chappelle finishing his breakfast and Tony sipping on his coffee.  
It didn't take much longer for Tony to finally open up, he had come there for advice after all.

"I fucked up, Ryan. I fucked up big time." He confessed at last.  
"I'm listening." Was all Chappelle said.

It took Tony half an hour to let it all out, how he went to check on Jack, why he decided to stay with him. How he tried his hardest to push his feelings for him aside but then Jack kissed him out of the blue, and for a moment he had kissed back, threatening to expose himself.

Once he was done Chappelle was patting his back, not knowing how else to comfort his sobbing friend. He knew it wasn't much, but it was enough for Tony, who knew Ryan cared about him even if he wasn't too good at showing it.

"Why did you run, Tony?" He finally asked when Tony seemed to have calmed down, not trying to judge him, but rather genuinely curious about his friend's motivations.

Tony looked up shocked, as if he shouldn't even have to explain it to him. "Isn't it obvious? He's straight, Ryan! And all he did was because he was either lonely, horny, or because he thought he owed me." He pointed out, disgusted by that last possibility. "Why _wouldn't_ I run?"

"Straight men don't kiss other men in my experience, Tony." Chappelle pointed out calmly, trying to talk some sense into him.  
"Oh, come on Ryan. You know Jack. He doesn't swing that way." Tony protested, so convinced of it he refused to even consider otherwise.  
"Maybe he does and you just don't know. Why don't you ask him if it troubles you so much?"

"Ask him?" Tony repeated, outraged. Ryan said that as if it was that simple. "Have you gone completely mad? I can't just... _ask him!_ "

"Why not? Are you so afraid he'll tell you he didn't mean it that you won't even take a chance?" Chappelle inquired, then suspicion entered his mind. "Or maybe you're afraid he'll say he did." He reasoned.  
Tony looked at him bewildered. "What do you mean, Ryan? I told you-"

Chappelle was quick to cut him off. "Oh, I know what you _told me_ , but your behavior makes no sense, there's something that doesn't quite add up."  
"Why running without even asking him what he feels for you if you really do want him? What scares you so much?"

Tony stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before confessing his greatest fear out loud.  
"I'm afraid he'll tell me he wants me, only to realize later on that he actually doesn't, that to him I was just a distraction, a whim, so he'll leave me in the end, alone and heartbroken. And I'm not sure I could ever recover from being _used_ like that."

Chappelle nodded in sympathy. "I understand Tony, I really do. But what if you're mistaken? Are you really so afraid of rejection you won't even give him a chance now that he has made the first move? You know you can't be sure he doesn't reciprocate your feelings until you ask him."

Tony sighed and buried his face in his hands, his mind full of fears and doubts. "I don't know." He confessed. "What would _you_ do?"  
"I'd go for it, Tony." Chappelle replied truthfully after considering it for a moment. "Otherwise I'd regret it for the rest of my life."

Tony nodded, still undecided. "Thanks, Ryan. I'll keep that in mind."  
"You do that." Chappelle said with an encouraging smile. "Now, I could head to work or, if you want, we can spend today together so I can take your mind off of all this stuff. In any case you're not working today, and that's an order from your superior."

 _'Right, work!'_ Tony remembered suddenly. "Fuck, it's so late already." He realized looking down at his watch.  
"Don't worry, I just texted CTU. They know we're okay and they can survive without us for today." Chappelle reassured him. "So, what's it gonna be? I've heard wonders about that new art gallery downtown." Enthusiastic, he started talking more about it, before stopping abruptly. "Unless you'd rather be alone?"

"I... Yeah, I think I need some time on my own." Tony confessed. "Sorry."  
"No need to be sorry, I get it." Chappelle assured him. "Just promise you'll text me if you change your mind, okay? I'm always here if you need me."  
"Alright." Tony said, smiling genuinely for the first time since he arrived. "Thanks, Ryan. You're a good friend."

"I'm a _great_ friend, Tony." Chappelle pointed out, and it made Tony chuckle.  
"I'll go now, let you get ready for work." He said, walking to the door. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye Tony." Chappelle's words followed him as he left. "Try not to stress too much, romance is supposed to feel good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from Queen's Friends Will Be Friends


	2. Chapter 2

Tony headed home for the first time in six days.

As he walked in he realized his apartment was cold and quiet, too quiet. He wasn't used to that anymore.  
It felt lonely.

He did everything he could think of to keep his mind from going back to that morning's events. He started off by cleaning, until every inch of his house was shining. Then he started ironing all his button-ups, a thing he loathed and always put off. It kept him busy for almost two hours but it still wasn't enough.

He needed something else to do to keep his mind off of Jack, so Tony turned his attentions to what he called his plant room.

It was impossible to find a house with a garden in the city that didn't cost an arm and a leg, so Tony had converted the second bedroom of his apartment into his indoor garden and keep all his flowers there, each in its vase.  
It made it impossible to keep plants that would grow too much, but at least it allowed him to keep his orchids and his beloved roses.

But gardening could only distract him so much. The silence brought back Ryan's words, and with them Jack's.

He closed his eyes and tried to will them away, but Jack's devasted expression as he left haunted him, Tony saw it every time he closed his eyes.

He wondered how he was holding up, if Jack was tormenting himself just like he was, if he regretted what he did. If he thought he had ruined their friendship as well.

 _'I really should have stayed.'_ Tony realized with a sigh.


	3. Prove it all night

The next evening as he drove back from work, Tony found himself parking in front of Jack's house. He must have been distracted, instinctively going back to what he had unconsciously started to think of as _home_.

He realized he could still turn back if he wanted to, and leave as if nothing had happened. Probably Jack wouldn't even notice.

Tony didn't know what convinced him not to drive away, nor what pushed him to get out of his car and to finally knock on the door. Later on he would call it fate, destiny.

Truth was he missed Jack, both as a friend and as whatever he was when he teased him, running his hands lightly on his skin, looking at him with that badly-hidden longing in his eyes.  
He missed feeling desired, knowing that he was important to somebody.

For a moment there was no answer and Tony almost turned around, convinced Jack wouldn't answer. His heart skipped a beat when he finally heard footsteps approaching from behind the door, followed by a familiar _'Coming!'_

The door opened and Jack just stared at him for a moment, his face lightening up.  
"Hey." Tony said, the hint of a smile on his face.

"Tony..." Jack whispered and oh, how Tony had missed that voice. "I didn't think you'd be back." He confessed, and Tony realized it was true by the look of happiness and disbelief all over his face.

"I owe you an apology, Jack. I-" Tony started, but Jack shook his head. "Not here, come in."

As soon as Tony stepped inside he took a good look around, nervously checking for any bottle lying around.  
When he found none - not in plain sight at least - he felt much better. Jack relapsing because of him was the last thing he needed.

Turning back to him, Tony saw Jack staring at him, waiting for him to speak. Waiting for an answer Tony knew he owed him.  
"I'm sorry I left so suddenly." He started. "I just... I was so scared, Jack! I thought I was taking advantage, pressuring you into something you didn't really want."

Jack looked at him confused. He'd been the one to initiate the kiss, how could Tony think _he_ had been the one taking advantage?

Tony saw the confusion in his eyes and tried his best to explain his fears to him. "I didn't want you to think I've helped you just cause I wanted that in return," he explained, "didn't want you to feel like you had to say yes to anything just because I've been here for you."  
"I wanted you to want me regardless of all that." He finally confessed under his breath, barely loud enough for Jack to hear it.

Jack let out a soft gasp. _'He... he wants me too.'_ He realized, shocked. _'If I can convince him my feelings are true I could... I could have a chance with him!'_

"I do, actually." He said finally, resting his hand on Tony's shoulder.  
The unexpected contact took him by surprise, and that's when Tony found the courage to look up into Jack's eyes, a questioning look on his face.  
"I kissed you because I wanted to, not because I felt I owed you." Jack assured him, hoping Tony could believe him.

"Are you sure, Jack?" He asked, still reluctant to believe Jack's feelings might be genuine. "Don't say it just because you think that's what I want to hear." 

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life." Jack assured him. "I've wanted you for a long time, longer than you might think."  
He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath, then looked back up at Tony's eyes, Tony's beautiful sad eyes, so full of doubts and insecurities.

He understood Tony's fears, he really did. But he meant what he said, he wanted this, he wanted _him_. So he took a step closer cautiously and caressed Tony's face as gently as he could.  
"I mean it, Tony." Tony shivered under his touch, but didn't try to stop him, longing for Jack's hands on him. "And I'll gladly prove it to you if you'd let me." Jack added, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Once again it was Jack who initiated the kiss, and this time Tony couldn't deny it anymore; Jack's eagerness matched his own, there was no way he was faking it.

Still, Tony stepped back, and Jack had to hold back a whimper.

"How serious are you, Jack?" Tony asked, his voice trembling.  
"Tony..." Jack tried to protest, but Tony cut him off.  
"Please, I need to know." There was a hint of desperation in his voice, and Jack nodded, understanding. "As serious as you want me to be." He replied, hoping it would be enough.

But Tony furrowed his brows. "What does that even mean?"  
"That if you want me just for one night I'm okay with that." He started.  
"...but?" Tony sensed there was something else behind his words, something Jack wasn't telling him.

"But I want more than that. I want this to mean something to you too." Jack admitted looking away, bracing himself for the rejection to come.  
After all Tony had already walked out on him once, another disappointment would be nothing new.

"It would mean everything." Tony confessed, and Jack's heart almost skipped a beat. "Yeah?" He asked incredulous.  
"Yeah." Tony's smile and the spark in his eyes told Jack enough, and at that moment he knew Tony meant that. "I don't want you just for one night either."

Joy overwhelmed them both as they met into a tight embrace, content to just bury themselves into each other's arms for the moment being.

"I missed you so much..." Jack whispered after a moment. "I was afraid you'd never come back."  
"I'm here now." Tony reassured him with a smile. "And I'm not going anywhere."

They stood there for a long moment, just holding each other, Jack laying kisses on Tony's neck and Tony letting his hands run soothingly up and down his back.

"Come to bed with me." Jack asked after a while, stepping back to meet his eyes, and the straightforwardness of it took Tony by surprise.  
He pondered on it for a second, but then decided he was done missing chances because of his insecurities.   
So he nodded, his arms still holding Jack in an iron grip. "I'd love to." 

They headed for the bedroom and as soon as they reached it they were kissing again. It had taken them so long to get to this point and now they were both desperate and couldn't, wouldn't have stopped for any reason.

A shiver ran through Tony's spine as Jack started undressing, he still couldn't believe this was really happening.

Jack had only taken off his shirt when Tony grabbed his waist and guided him to the bed. Jack laid down and, never breaking eye contact, Tony started to take off his own shirt, taking his time unbuttoning it, teasingly slow. 

"Like what you see?" He asked, smirking smugly.

Jack growled low. Oh, the show put up by Tony was great and he was enjoying it just fine, but he couldn't wait another moment, needed Tony in his arms _now_. "Just get down here, dammit."  
Tony chuckled. "How could I ever deny you?"

Once he was straddling him, Tony started laying kisses all over his chest, then going up to his neck until he reached Jack's lips with his own once again.  
"You've ever been with a man before, Jack?" He leaned to whisper in his ear, licking his lobe and enjoying the soft moan that earned him.

Jack shook his head, blushing and lowering his head as afraid of Tony's judgment.  
"If you want to slow things down..." Tony offered, suddenly uncertain.  
But Jack was quick to reassure him. "None of that. I want you, Tony. I want to do this with you, please!"

Tony seemed to consider it for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, then. I'll make it good for you." Tony promised him with a renewed smile. "And remember that you can stop me at any time."  
"Thank you." Jack said grateful, his heart filling up at Tony's care and attention.

After that Tony was quick to remove Jack's pants, then started nuzzling his navel, palming Jack's dick through his underwear at the same time, happy to find out Jack was already half hard.

Tony's hands reached the waistband of his underwear and he stopped, looking up at Jack questioningly. "Can I?" He asked.  
"Please." Came Jack's breathy reply, and Tony smiled as he lowered Jack's underwear.

The first lick on his dick took Jack by surprise, and he let out a soft gasp.  
Encouraged, Tony continued with his ministrations slow and teasing, and soon Jack was starting to thrust his hips up, a hand finding its way to the back of Tony's head.

"Eager, Jack?" He asked then, shivering at the unexpected contact.  
Jack's only response was a whimper, and Tony decided it was enough. He took Jack into his mouth at last, his hands tightening around Jack's hips.  
Tony loved the little desperate sounds he was able to drag out of Jack, and was doing his best to make him lose all control and let those beautiful muffled noises out for him to hear.

As he kept taking Jack deeper into his throat, Tony started to circle his hole with his thumb, not pressing in but stimulating him nonetheless.  
Jack moaned surprised, and it was music for Tony's ears.

"Do you, ah... have something?" Tony stopped to ask him after a moment. He wouldn't do anything without lube, wouldn't risk hurting Jack their first time together, Jack who trusted him so much.

"Second drawer, on the left." He answered, breathless, and when Tony opened it he was quick to spot the bottle of lube.  
"Great!" He really hadn't felt like abandoning Jack like this while he made a quick trip to the nearest shop.

Once he had applied what he felt was a good amount of lube on his finger, Tony placed it on Jack's entrance and waited, looking up at him questioningly. "You're okay with this? I swear it won't hurt."  
Jack hesitated for just a second, then nodded. "I'm sure." He said, looking up at him with an encouraging smile. "I trust you, Tony."

Tony pressed in then, studying Jack's reaction carefully. But the lube-coated finger was cold inside him and it made Jack shiver.

"Still alright?" Tony asked, a hint of concern in his voice, but Jack only nodded, not trusting his voice.  
Smiling reassured, Tony pushed it all the way in, slowly and carefully. Jack was tight around him, and Tony gave him all the time he needed to adjust, whispering sweet words of praise and encouragement at the same time.

Once he felt Jack starting to relax, Tony pulled his finger almost completely out, only to push in again, earning a loud whine from Jack.

It took him a few tries to find Jack's prostate, but once he did he saw the effects immediately.

Jack threw his head back and finally let out a loud moan. "God, Tony!" His breath grew uneven and Tony smirked. "Is it good?"  
Jack nodded, his eyes still closed in bliss. "Never knew it could feel like this."

"Oh, Jack. This is just the beginning. By the time I'm done with you, you won't even remember your own name." Tony assured him, and it sounded equal part threat and promise.  
Jack loved it.

It didn't take long for him to start pushing back against Tony's finger, a breathy and desperate _'come on'_ leaving his lips.  
"You want more, Jack?" Tony pressed a gentle kiss on his thigh as he pushed in a second finger. "Here, have it."

For a moment it almost felt too much, and to Jack everything else stopped existing. There was only that burning pleasure, and Tony's calm soothing voice.

Jack thought he couldn't feel any better, but as Tony's lips closed around his cock once more he had to think again.  
The double stimulation was unlike anything Jack had ever felt and he tightened his grip on Tony's head instinctively, pulling him closer, completely lost in his pleasure.

"Tony..." He said after a moment, his voice shaking. "I'm so close." He warned him, but Tony didn't see to mind, a spark of mischief in his eyes as he looked up.  
When Jack finally reached his climax Tony swallowed every last drop, never once breaking eye contact.

Tony released him soon after, and Jack let his head fall back on the pillow with a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, Jack was met by a sight that would have made him hard again had he been younger.  
Tony was sitting back on his knees, his head thrown back and his eyes closed, a focused look on his face, and a hand closed around his hard cock, stroking himself.  
He looked wonderful like that, and Jack was speechless for a moment.

"Wait." He finally managed to say, and Tony opened his eyes, confused. "Let me help you with that." Jack offered. 

"Y-you don't have to..." Tony assured him with a shaking voice, even though the idea alone was threatening to make him come on the spot.   
"I know, but please just let me. I want to." There was a spark of untamed desire in Jack's eyes, and Tony knew he couldn't deny him anything.

"Alright then." Tony sat on the edge of the bed and Jack got on his knees on the floor in front of him, the sight alone bringing Tony dangerously closer to his release.

Tony had expected Jack to use his hands, so once Jack leaned closer and started licking him tentatively, mimicking what Tony had done to him before, it didn't take long for Tony to finish, and he came all over Jack's face.

"Fuck. Sorry about that." Tony apologized once he came down from his height and realized what he'd done, but Jack just smiled as he looked up at him. "Don't worry. It was hot." He assured him with a smirk.   
Tony chuckled shaking his head, grabbing a tissue and leaning down to wipe his cum from Jack's face.

Once he was done he collapsed on the bed, soon followed by Jack. Tony laid his head on his chest then and groaned softly against him, and Jack's hand was quick to find its way to his hair, stroking it gently.  
"I thought I lost you." He confessed, his voice feeble. "Thought you were never coming back to me..."

Tony sighed. "I'm sorry I ran away. I was afraid. I just couldn't believe you really wanted me, seemed too good to be true."  
"Do you believe me now?" Jack asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Mh, I could always use some more convincing..." Tony said teasingly, nuzzling against Jack's neck and leaving a trail of kisses behind. "But honestly?" He said, stopping to look back into Jack's eyes. "Yeah, I do."  
"Good." Jack said, a wide genuine smile gracing his face.

They laid in silence for a moment, until Jack decided to let out the thought that was troubling him. "Tony, what... what are we now? What does this make us?"

Tony stiffened, suddenly scared. "I don't know about you Jack, but what I am is tired." Was his only answer as he rolled off of Jack's chest, wanting to avoid having to put a label on them for as long as he could.

 _'A label of any kind might freak him out.'_ Tony reasoned, unaware or unwilling to admit to himself that it scared _him_ the most.

"And I'll need to get some sleep if I want to be able to go to work tomorrow." He added, making it clear he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Why?" Jack asked after a moment, turning towards him with a serious expression on his face.  
"Why do I need to sleep?" Tony asked, lifting his head in confusion. "Why? You're up for another round already?"

Jack chuckled at his puzzled expression. "I meant why are you still doing it, working there."  
Tony furrowed his brows. "Why not? I'm trained for it, I make some good money..." He started listing off the top of his head, but he understood Jack's point. That job had taken away the most important people in his life.

"But do you like it there?" There was genuine concern in Jack's voice, and Tony couldn't help but smile.  
Still, he had to think about it. Did he really like the job? Or did he just endure it?

Jack must have seen how the smile on his face faltered as he considered his question, because he was quick to apologize. "I'm sorry, forget it. I have no right to tell you how to live your life. I shouldn't have-"  
"No, don't worry, I get it." Tony reassured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You're just looking out for me, and I appreciate it. And I understand too."  
"All CTU brought you was pain, after all..." He added under his breath, lowering his head.

"Well, not _all_ of it." Jack said, running a hand across Tony's cheek and taking his chin into his hand, slowly closing the distance between their lips.

The kiss was slow and tender, so different from the passionate and demanding ones before, but still as heartfelt.

They laid there quietly just staring into each other's eyes for a moment, until Jack broke the silence with a yawn. "Let's get some sleep then, what do you say?"

Tony pretended to think about it for a moment, then finally came to a decision. "Only if you let me hold you."  
Jack chuckled, snuggling closer to Tony. "Deal!"

Deft, slender hands circled his waist, and after a short while Jack drifted off to a peaceful sleep for the first time in days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from Bruce Springsteen's Prove It All Night


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Jack woke up in an empty bed.  
He was puzzled for a moment, then started looking around in panic. _'_ _He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye. Would he?'_  
But he had, apparently. Tony had left him once again.

_'He said I wasn't just a one-night thing for him...'_

Jack sighed. In retrospect he should have known. It had been too good to be true.  
Heartbroken, he got up and walked downstairs.

That's when he smelled it, the scent of coffee in the air.

"Hey, you're up early!"  
A shiver ran through Jack's spine, that familiar voice sending goosebumps all over his skin.  
When he turned towards it and saw Tony it was like a heavenly vision, and he couldn't contain his happiness.

"I was just about to make breakfast." Tony told him. "What do you want?"

What did he want, really? Jack stopped to think for a moment, that question swirling through his mind as he studied Tony's face.  
 _What do I want..._

_I want to go on dates with you, give you my jacket when you're cold, kiss you in the middle of an overcrowded square on New Year's Eve._

_I want to travel together, find out what makes you laugh and what songs you like to sing in the shower._

_I want to kiss every inch of your body, nurse you back to health when you're sick, go to the movies with you._

_I want to learn how you like to be touched, have pictures of us on our walls, wake up next to you for the rest of my life._

"Jack?" Came Tony's questioning voice again, and Jack smiled, meeting his eyes.  
"Eggs will do, thanks Tony."


	5. Chapter 5

Jack spent that afternoon lazying on the couch, his mind going back to the night before. It had been so good he still couldn't believe it had really happened. 

The sudden knock on the door interrupted his daydreaming and, glancing quickly at Tony's shifts he kept on the fridge, he tried not to give in to hope, but then he heard that familiar voice from outside.  
"Jack? It's me."

Jack beamed. He wasn't sure Tony would come back, even after what happened the night before, some part of him still fearing Tony would realize he wasn't worth it.  
"Coming!" He answered, walking to the door.

"Hey." Tony greeted him, making his way inside with his hands behind his back, clearly holding something. "Hi." Jack said smiling, trying to catch a glimpse of it. "What have you got there?" He asked, curious.

"Ah, uh... It's my way of apologizing." Tony explained, blushing as he revealed a bouquet of red roses. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you and walked out like an asshole."  
"I also wanted you to know that I'm committed, that I care about you." He added, his voice growing smaller and more insecure the more he spoke.

Jack was silent for a moment, and Tony realized maybe he had overstepped some kind of unspoken boundaries. It was still so soon after all, and maybe this was too much and he was overwhelming Jack.  
Suddenly he started to panic, not knowing what to do. "Sorry, I- I don't know what I was thinking, I just-"  
"They're beautiful, Tony." Jack cut him off, looking at them mesmerized, an expression of genuine surprise on his face.

"Yeah?" Tony asked, looking up tentatively, relaxing slightly.  
"Yeah." Jack assured him with a warm smile. "Almost as much as you are."  
He kissed a blushing Tony on the cheek quickly, then took the roses and went looking for a vase to put them in. 

"I've got something for you too." Jack said when he came back, placing the vase on the table and holding out his old pair of keys. "You should take them back." He said, and Tony's hands were shaking as he took them, disbelief plain on his face.  
He remembered clearly the moment when he took them out of his pocket right before leaving, his way of saying he wouldn't be back. That Jack would give them to him again meant a lot, it was a reassurance that Jack had forgiven him and wanted him into his life again.

Guilt and gratitude overwhelmed him at the same time, and Tony could only close the distance between them, holding Jack close. Jack's strong arms wrapped around him and Tony let out a satisfied sigh. "Thank you so much for giving me another chance." He said fighting tears, clinging tighter to Jack, never wanting to let him go again.  
"Thank _you_ for seeing the worst parts of me and still think I'm worth your time and affection." Jack whispered into his ear in response, sounding just as grateful as Tony felt.

They stood like that some more, just enjoying each other's presence, and when they parted they were both smiling.

"So, how was work today?" Jack asked him as they sat down on the couch.  
"Boring." Tony admitted. "Couldn't wait to come home to you." Jack gave him a loving smile, moved by those words.

"Well, about work, I... I might have some good news." He confessed, looking slightly anxious.  
"Really? What news?" Tony asked, excited.  
"I talked to Mark. He said he'd been looking for some help down at the garage for quite some time now." Jack explained. "So I think I found a job." He finished, eager to hear Tony's opinion about it.

"Jack that's great, just... a mechanic, really?" Somehow Tony couldn't picture it.  
Jack smiled. "I used to be good at it when I was younger. Have I ever told you about my Triumph?"

Tony smiled at seeing how his eyes had lit up. "No, not really." He encouraged him, and Jack fell for it immediately.

"A Trident T150 750. She was a true beauty, I got her third or fourth hand, couldn't afford anything else at the time, so of course she had her flaws. My father couldn't believe I had spent years' worth of savings on what he liked to call a stinky clunker, but trust me she looked damn good even if she took her time to get started."  
"I spent even more trying to repair her, you know?" He added chuckling. "So I had to start doing some of the repairings on my own, and I became quite good at it in time."

"So, this one time I was out riding and she just _stops_ -" Jack lost himself in his talking and Tony lost himself in Jack's eyes, so filled with passion and pure, genuine enthusiasm, and soon he was no longer hearing what Jack was saying.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jack asked after a moment, noticing Tony wasn't listening to him anymore and effectively interrupting his trance.  
"I think I'm falling in love with you." Tony confessed before he could stop himself, looking up at Jack lovingly, his heart beating loud in his ears as he anxiously waited for a reaction from Jack.  
"That's good." Jack reflected, nodding. "Cause I've been falling for some time already." He admitted, blushing.

Tony sighed relieved at that reassurance, and when Jack leaned in closer he welcomed the kiss with open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know absolutely nothing about motorcycles, I just thought [this model](https://www.motorcyclespecs.co.za/Gallery%20C/Triumph%20Trident%20T150%20750%2068.jpg) looked great.


	6. Chapter 6

Once again Jack woke up alone.  
He turned around and saw Tony's keys laid on the bed beside him, and the sight sent a shiver through his spine.

"Tony?" He called out, his voice shaking.  
He got up hastily and started looking for him almost desperately.  
"Over here, Jack." He turned towards that cold voice and saw Tony standing on the threshold.

"Tony, what's going on?" He asked, almost scared.  
Tony didn't answer, he just turned around and started walking away.  
A sense of dread fell on Jack, and he was quick to run after him.  
"Wait!" He begged him, grabbing his arm. "Please, don't leave me!"

Tony turned to face him then, a smirk on his face. "I'll never be happy with you." He said, and his indifference hit Jack like a punch. "Are you really so selfish you'd force me to stay?"  
"Tony, what are you saying?" He asked in disbelief.  
"Come on, Jack. You're broken, you know that." Tony continued disdainful, his tone cutting. "Why would I want to stay?"

"I..." Jack was speechless for a moment, his heart beating loudly in his ears. "I thought you..."  
"You said you were in love with me." He finally managed to say, looking up to Tony's eyes, searching for a spark of that same emotion he remembered seeing in them just a few hours before.

Tony chuckled bitterly. "What, you actually believed that?" The mocking tone in his voice hurt, and Jack had to look away.  
"You are unlovable." Tony continued, spitting out his words like poison.  
There was something familiar in them, and Jack knew that wasn't the first time he heard it.

Jack woke up screaming.

Immediately, an arm wrapped around him, accompanied by a soothing voice.  
"Hey. It's okay, it was just a nightmare." The voice reassured him. "I'm here, you're safe. It's alright."  
Jack flinched at the unexpected touch and moved away from it, the nightmare still flashing in front of his eyes, those hurtful words still echoing into his ears.

"Wanna talk about it?" Tony asked after a moment in the sweetest voice he could.  
"No." Jack sounded harsh, and Tony knew it wasn't his fault, but he still blamed himself, disappointed that he couldn't help his Jack out of this.  
"Ok then." He said resigned, laying back down and turning to face the other way with a sigh.

It took Jack a moment to get over his panic, but once he did, when he realized he was safe in his home with the man he loved, he also realized just how ungrateful he must have sounded. After all, Tony had just wanted to help him.

 _'It wasn't real. He isn't leaving me again.'_ He told himself, trying to relax, his heartbeat slowing down. _'He's worried about me because he cares, because it was just a stupid dream. He won't hurt me.'_  
_'I shouldn't hurt him either.'_

"Tony..." He called out for him, and Tony turned to face him, a worried look still on his face. "Yes?"  
"I'm sorry I was rude. You didn't deserve that."  
Tony just shook his head. "Don't worry, it's not your fault. I know you didn't mean to."

"Can you please hold me?" The request was for both of them; Tony needed it just as much as Jack did, maybe even more, and Jack needed to let him know he appreciated everything Tony did for him.  
And maybe -just maybe- Jack needed the physical comfort as well, a reassurance that nothing had happened and Tony was most likely still in love with him.

As predicted, a big smile was on Tony's face immediately, happy to be helpful. "Of course, come here."  
Tony's arms around him made Jack feel protected and loved, and helped to make his anguish fade.

"Thanks, Tony." Jack said, snuggling closer to him and resting his head on Tony's chest, his heartbeat loud in Jack's ears.  
"Don't worry, I like to hold you close." Tony replied, his hold on Jack tightening.

"No, I meant... thanks for everything you do for me. I know I can be difficult to be around sometimes." He explained, burying himself in the crook of Tony's neck so he wouldn't have to meet his eyes.

"There's nothing you need to thank me for." Tony reassured him, and Jack could _hear_ the gentle smile on his face.  
"There is." Jack insisted. "I don't know what I'd do without you... or maybe I do, and that's exactly why I'm so grateful to have you."

Tony held him tighter to him, moved by the sadness in his voice. "I'm lucky to have you too, you know." He confessed, leaning down to leave a kiss on Jack's neck. "And I wouldn't change a thing about you."  
Jack smiled, sighing relieved.

Tony fell asleep shortly after, and Jack loved listening to his every breath.  
_'I really don't know what I did to deserve you.'_ He thought as sleep slowly came over him too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I don't know if Tony could technically bring his gun and/or handcuffs with him at home. But honestly who cares, have some smut.

"Agent Almeida." Tony smiled at that welcoming voice, turning around to find Jack laying on the couch, looking at him with a playful look in his eyes. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Jack teased with a smile.  
"I'm afraid it's a gun." Tony said matter-of-factly as he took it out and showed it to him. "But I'm _always_ happy to see you." He added walking to Jack and leaning down to kiss his forehead before he went to put the gun away.

It was at that moment that an idea flashed into Jack's mind, a desire he had kept hidden but he had always wanted to try out.  
Jack looked thoughtful for a while, hesitant. It took him some time to finally build up the courage to speak.

"Do you..." He started, both excited and nervous to finally bring this up. "Do you happen to have some handcuffs as well somewhere?"  
Tony was furrowing his brows as he walked back into the living room. "Of course, all agents are required to always have a pair on them, you know that. Why do you ask?"

When Tony turned to look at him Jack's face had turned a lovely shade of red, and that's when realization of what was behind Jack's question finally hit him. "Oh."  
"Jack, I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff." Tony said smiling mischievously, definitely interested in discovering this new side of him.

"I've never done anything like that before..." Jack said almost defensively, blushing some more. "But I'd really like to try it with you. If that's okay?" He asked timidly.

"More than okay." Tony reassured him, sitting down on the couch next to him and caressing his cheek tenderly. "And I, uh..." It was Tony's turn to blush now. "I actually _have_ done this before." He confessed, not missing how Jack's eyes widened in interest. "Yeah?"  
Tony nodded. "It was just a one night stand." He was quick to specify. "This guy saw the handcuffs lying around and asked if I could use them on him. I don't think he realized they were real, and I didn't tell him."

"Would you be willing to do it again?" Jack asked in a small, tentative voice that Tony had never heard from him before.

He could already picture it, Jack lying on the bed bound to the headboard, knowing there was no escape from Tony and whatever he wanted to do to him.  
It dawned on him just how much Jack trusted him, and Tony smiled, incredibly grateful.

"I'd love to." He answered after a moment, coming back to reality as Jack rested a hand on his shoulder, meeting the questioning look in Jack's eyes with a reassuring one.

Jack smiled then, feeling calmer already. "Thanks Tony."  
But Tony shook his head. "No, thank _you_ for trusting me with this." He said, promising to himself he wouldn't let him down.

~

Dinner was spent between lewd glances and light heartfelt giggles, and they were both smiling excitedly as they went upstairs, butterflies in their stomachs at the thought of what was coming.  
None of them remembered even feeling this carefree, this spontaneous around each other, and that rush of adrenaline running through them was a sensation neither of them seemed able to get enough of.

Tony was laying light kisses all over Jack's neck as they entered the bedroom, hands already buried in his hair.

"Lay down on your back." He whispered into Jack's ear and Jack obeyed, appreciating how much like an order it had sounded. "And take this off." Tony continued, tugging at his shirt.  
Jack loved how dominant Tony was acting right now, that rough side of him Jack hadn't seen since they were working together. Tony's bossy attitude had irked him then, now it aroused him to no end.

Once his shirt was off Tony bent down to kiss his neck passionately, then looked at him lovingly. "Promise that you'll tell me the moment it becomes even slightly uncomfortable." Here it was again, the caring Tony Jack had gotten to know and love.

"I will." Jack assured him with a smile.  
Tony nodded at that, heartened, then straddled Jack and gently grabbed his hands.

Tony could hear his own heart beating loud into his ears, covering the sound of the handcuffs closing around Jack's wrists.  
"Too tight?" He asked, mesmerized by the sight below him.  
"No, it's fine." Jack assured him, smirking at noticing just how much his sight was affecting Tony already. It was incredible to feel this wanted.

"You're sure?" Tony asked, a worried look into his eyes. "I don't wanna hurt you..." The tone of Tony's voice was so caring, and Jack felt just how heartfelt that statement was.  
"Tony." Jack looked up at him smiling reassuringly, wishing he could reach out and caress his face to help him calm down. "I'm okay, they're perfect."  
"Alright." Tony nodded, relaxed. He'd have to trust Jack to tell him if he was uncomfortable.

He reached down to take off Jack's trousers too, and there was something about being completely dressed while his lover lied naked in front of him that drove Tony wild.

"So beautiful, powerless... " Tony whispered as he nuzzled Jack's neck, his breath leaving goosebumps on Jack's skin. "Mine to use as I please."  
"Yours. Completely." Jack replied nodding, and those words sent a shiver down Tony's spine.

Being on top of him and seeing Jack so helpless Tony found it difficult to believe this was the same man he had seen in action so many times, agent Bauer the killing machine.  
Tony knew he could get out of those handcuffs easily if he wanted to, but a big part of the eroticism of the situation was knowing that Jack had let himself be cuffed willingly. That submission was the greatest gift Tony could ever have wished for, one he hoped to be worthy of.

He knelt between Jack's legs and started laying kisses all over his chest, then going further down.  
By the time he reached Jack's hips the kisses had become rougher and Tony was leaving bruises now, nibbling at his tender skin and causing Jack to moan softly and shiver beneath him.

Jack was painfully hard when Tony's lips finally reached his cock, and Tony looked up to meet Jack's eyes as he started to lick it slowly, teasingly.  
But Jack wasn't looking at him, his head thrown back and his eyes closed, the picture of debauchery.

Tony finally took him into his mouth and heard Jack instinctively tugging at the handcuffs.  
Every time they did this Jack liked to rest a hand on Tony's head, not to hold him down forcefully but just to feel him there, to have that connection between them.

Tony kept going for a while, flattered to notice that Jack was getting closer already, the sensation mixed with the restrain of the handcuffs making it difficult for him to hold on much longer.

But just as Jack needed him the most and had started to thrust up into him, Tony took his mouth away, smirking at Jack's attempts to bring him back by wrapping his legs around his shoulders.  
"Come back here, dammit." He demanded, frustrated.  
"Fuck I forgot how strong you are." Tony chuckled, leaving light kisses on his thigh as he untangled from Jack's grip. "You could kill a man with these."

 _'One of these days I'll ask to blindfold him,'_ Tony thought. _'I'll leave him guessing, not knowing what I'm gonna do next. My every move will be a surprise for him.'_

"Please, Tony..." Jack looked up at him, desperate. "Don't make me beg, I need you..."

 _'But I'm gonna miss those pleading eyes.'_ He realized, meeting Jack's gaze and smiling fondly at him.

Tony bent down to kiss him, pressing against Jack and grinding on him at the same time, making sure that Jack could feel just how hard he was. "Can you feel it Jack, how much I want you? How much even just the sight of you affects me?" Tony whispered against his lips, then got up again.  
Jack tried to follow him and catch his lips once again, but was soon reminded of his restraints. He could only watch as Tony opened the drawer and took out a bottle of lube.

After that Tony took his time getting back on the bed, then started applying some lube on his fingers and reached down to Jack's ass. But he didn't push in immediately, preferring to just tease Jack for the moment, circling his hole lazily, trying to put aside his own urging desire.

When Tony finally slid his lubed finger all the way in he relished in watching Jack arching into his touch, his eyes urging him to do more, to keep pleasing him.

Tony added a second one shortly after, and the noises Jack let out were music to his ears.  
"Please, Tony... Please! I can't take it anymore." Jack begged after a while, when Tony's fingers felt good but not enough. He needed more.

Here it was, Tony smiled, the reaction he'd been waiting for. Jack was incredible when he was pushed to his limits, a beauty to watch and to hear.  
His shameless pleading was almost as hot as the desperate expression on his face, and the combination of both was too much for Tony to resist. "What is it, Jack? What do you want?" He asked, wanting to tease him a little bit longer.

"You." It left Jack's lips soft and desperate, reverent like a prayer, and Tony could only oblige. "Anything for you, Jack. Always."  
Tony removed his fingers gently and Jack hissed at the sensation, that feeling of sudden emptiness.

Tony finally undressed, throwing his clothes on the floor with nonchalance and going back to focus all his attention on Jack once again, Jack that had never once looked that needy since Tony had got to know him.  
Still, Tony took his time in going back on the bed, and when he started stroking his dick with lube he did it slowly, feeling Jack's pleading eyes on him, watching his every move in awe.

"Come on, don't be such a tease..." Jack whispered, and Tony finally gave in.  
He positioned himself between Jack's welcoming legs, then met his eyes once more. "Are you sure?" He asked and Jack nodded. It was all the reassurance Tony needed. 

Carefully he slid in, doing his best not to hurt Jack, giving him time to adjust and whispering sweet words of praise in his ear.  
"That's it, you're doing great, Jack. It'll feel better soon, so much better I promise."

It took him a while, but finally Jack's voice came again. "I'm alright, you can move now."  
"As you wish." Tony started to thrust into him then, gently at first, then growing rougher, managing to hit Jack's prostate after just a couple of tries and earning Jack's soft cries of pleasure.

Tony loved it when Jack got vocal during sex, and had learned just what it took to drive him wild. He took Jack into his other hand and squeezed his cock lightly, causing Jack to moan loudly.  
Jack was torn, didn't know whether to buck up into Tony's hand or push back against his cock. It felt so good, and when he let out another breathless ' _please_ ' he didn't even know what he was asking for.

Lost in the pleasure of that double stimulation it didn't take long for Jack to come all over himself.  
He started clenching around Tony, and that paired with the sight of Jack ecstatic under him was enough to bring Tony over the edge as well.

They stood like that for a moment, panting and basking in their afterglow, and Tony's hands started wandering all over Jack's body, clinging tighter to him.  
Jack whimpered underneath him as Tony slid out of him and then proceeded to lap at Jack's cum on his stomach, maintaining eye contact the whole time, loving Jack's blissful expression.

"Here, let me get you out of these now." Tony said once he got his breath back.  
Once he removed the handcuffs he noticed Jack's wrists were red, but it was nothing concerning and Tony sighed, relieved.

"Fuck, that was so hot." Tony commented before laying down next to Jack, a content smile on his face as his hand found its way to Jack's hips.  
"Was it good for you too?" He asked, happy to see Jack smiling satisfied as he turned to face him. "Yeah... Thanks, Tony. It was incredible."

"No, _you_ were incredible." Tony corrected him, snuggling closer to kiss his forehead lightly. "Good night, Jack."  
"'night Tony." Came Jack's sleepy reply, and Tony held him closer to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I blame all of this on Desert Saints (2002) for [those beautiful scenes of Kiefer in handcuffs.](https://maxwell-marittimo.tumblr.com/post/637865452041879552/desert-saints-2002-scenes-with-kiefer-and)


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you still paying rent for that shithole?" Jack asked him one day, after Tony had mentioned needing to stop by at his apartment to bring some more winter clothes over.  
Tony turned to him furrowing his brows. "Of course I am."

"When was the last time you were even there?" Jack didn't get it. Tony was basically already living there with him, couldn't he understand there was no use for his own apartment anymore?

"Two days ago right after work to water my plants." Tony answered promptly, trying to prove his point but sounding unconvincing even to himself.  
Jack rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but when was the last time you slept there? Ate a meal there? Showered? When did you last use that place as anything more than your little greenhouse?"

Tony opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again. He realized he had to think about it, couldn't remember it straight away.  
"About two and a half months?" He guessed, shivering as he remembered just how lonely it had felt.  
"Two and a half months of money wasted on rent." Jack pointed out.

Then Tony finally realized just what Jack was trying to do. "Are you saying you want me to move in officially?" He asked, caught by surprise. He hadn't seen that coming, not yet anyway.  
"Oh, well I-" Jack started, running a hand through his hair, "...that is exactly what I was trying to say, yeah." He confessed, blushing.

Tony smiled at his reaction, but couldn't help but worry. "Isn't it too soon?" So many things could happen, and if Jack kicked him out he would have nowhere to go...  
"Relax, I don't wanna pressure you." Jack reassured him. "I just wanted you to know it's an option."

Tony nodded, thoughtful. "Alright... I'll think about it."  
Jack smiled. "That's all I'm asking you to do."

~

Not even two weeks after Tony had already made up his mind.  
Most of his clothes were already at Jack's, so all that was left to carry were some books, souvenirs, a few framed pictures, his camera equipment, and most importantly, _the plants_.

"You think it's a good idea to carry all of them in just one trip?" Tony asked, alarmed at that suggestion. "You know how bumpy the road is, right?" He was freaking out at the mere thought of it.

"Well, there are seat belts in the back seats." Jack suggested, chuckling. "Don't worry, a car trip is not gonna kill your precious plants." He tried to reassure him, but Tony was still unconvinced. "I'm really not sure, Jack..."  
"Tony, light of my life." Jack started, cupping Tony's face into his hands and staring right into his eyes. "I will not, I repeat, _not_ drive here and back _thirteen times_ just so you can carry each vase in your lap."

~

"You know, you never told me you were a photographer." Jack pointed out once they were done moving all of Tony's stuff in.  
Somehow he had convinced Tony to squeeze everything in the car, plants included, and they had managed to bring everything there in just one trip without damaging anything.

Tony was still finishing rearranging all the vases in front of the windows, making sure they were all receiving a decent amount of sunlight.  
"I didn't?" He asked surprised, but still not taking his eyes off his plants. "Well I'm not really a professional, it's just a hobby of mine."

Jack got up and walked closer to him, loving the expression of genuine happiness on his face as he took care of his flowers.  
"Don't sell yourself short, I saw some of the pictures, I'd say you're pretty good at it." Jack told him, and he meant that. The photos were great, some in color and some in black and white, but all were impressive, and later on he planned on insisting they hang at least some of them around the house.

"You really think so?" Tony asked, finally looking up, and Jack was happy to notice the hint of a blush on his cheeks.  
"I do." Jack assured him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "And I couldn't help but notice most of them are of your beloved plants. Can I ask why that is?"

"Well, they're a very easy subject." He explained. "Difficult to take an ugly photo of them since they're always still and beautiful from every angle."  
"But I'm starting to think maybe it's time I switch to a more... _lively_ subject." He continued, his fingers running down Jack's chest. "That is even more beautiful."  
Jack chuckled, amused. "Tony, I'm not lively. I'm unwilling to be photographed. There's a difference."

Tony leaned into him to whisper into his ear. "Luckily, I love a challenge." He said with a smirk. "One of these days I'll manage to take a good, in-focus picture of you when you're distracted and unaware."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Jack countered with a smile, and Tony wrapped his arms around him.  
"You won't have, don't worry." He assured him, finally leaning into him for a gentle kiss.


	9. I'm your man

_Call me good. Call me bad. Call me anything you want to, baby._

"You know Tony, when I said put on some Christmas music I didn't mean a Wham compilation." Jack pointed out, and Tony just chuckled.

It all started with _Last Christmas_ , and ended up with Tony singing _I'm Your Man_ at the top of his lungs. Jack found it endearing honestly, and his annoyance was just for show.

"Too bad." Tony smirked. "That's what we'll be listening to for the rest of the afternoon. Pass me the flour." Jack shook his head lightly but smiled. "Aye aye, sir."

Tony had decided they should make Christmas cookies, and Jack had agreed happily as soon as he heard the enthusiasm in Tony's voice when he suggested it, both of them completely disregarding the fact that Jack had never baked once in his entire life.

It was going great all things considered and, most importantly, they were having a lot of fun.  
Tony had turned out to be a very patient teacher, and Jack was determined to learn as much as possible from him.

"Wait, didn't we just use the flour moments ago?" Jack asked, furrowing his brows.  
"Yes, but we need to have some on the counter as we roll out the dough." Tony explained, dusting his working surface with flour.

Jack looked even more confused. "Roll out?"  
"Here, let me show you." Tony answered once he was done with the flour, taking out a rolling pin and moving behind Jack, then he put his hands on Jack's and started guiding them.

Jack's focus was quick to shift from the dough to Tony's body pressing against his back and slowly starting to roll his hips.  
Instinctively he pushed back, grinding lightly against Tony.

 _There's things that you guess, and things that you know_  
In the background a new song had started to play, and its rhythm was matched by the pace of Tony's light thrusts.

Jack wasn't surprised when Tony's floured hands moved to his hips, the dough now completely forgotten.  
Tony's mouth was on his neck in seconds, leaving a trail of kisses and some occasional bites.

_I've waited so long baby, now that we're friends_  
_Every man's got his patience, and here's where mine ends_

Impatient, Jack turned around and grabbed Tony's waist, pulling him closer into a passionate kiss.

_I want your sex, I want your love_

"What about the cookies?" Jack protested teasingly, stepping back.  
"It's okay, the dough needed to rest anyway." Tony answered hasty, eager to get back to their kissing.   
Jack chuckled. "How convenient for you." He pointed out, teasingly.

"If you think it isn't convenient for you too you're mistaken." Tony replied with a mischievous smile. "Luckily, I'll be more than happy to prove you wrong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from Wham!'s I'm Your Man


	10. All I want (for Christmas) is you

That morning Jack woke up in Tony's arms, as usual.  
He snuggled closer to Tony and buried himself in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.

"Mh... Good morning." Tony said, a sleepy smile on his face.  
"Merry Christmas." Jack greeted him with a kiss on his cheek.  
"And a merry Christmas to you too." Tony replied, holding him closer and sighing satisfied. At times it still seemed surreal to him that this was his life now.  
Unfortunately, Tony still had a job to go to that morning.

"As much as I'd like to stay here in bed cuddling I really need to get up now." He said, reluctant.  
"Mh, I know." Jack pouted. "And I'm gonna miss you." He confessed, looking up at him lovingly.  
"Me too." Tony smiled. "But I swear, I won't work late today."

Jack chuckled. He had heard that lie before, had said it many times himself. "I know you can't promise me that, but it's okay, I get it."  
"Uh-uh." Tony shook his head. "I mean it, not even a national security threat will stop me from being home in time for dinner today." He said, determined.  
"Want to join me for breakfast?" He added. 

"Sorry Tony, I'll pass this time." Jack said, apologetic. "I think I'll stay in bed this morning, I'm still feeling a bit sleepy."  
"It's not fair the garage gets to close for the holidays and CTU doesn't." Tony complained, getting up and getting dressed.  
Jack watched him change, smiling when he noticed the hickeys he left on him the night before.

"Bye, Jack. See you later." He smiled before walking out.  
"Have a good day." Jack replied.

He waited patiently in the bed, listening to Tony's footsteps as he moved through the kitchen, then he finally heard Tony getting out and shutting the door behind him.  
Jack still didn't move when he heard the roar of his car's engine.

A few minutes passed, and now that he was sure Tony was not coming back - it wouldn't be the first time he left the house without his keys, wallet, or jacket - Jack got up and got dressed quickly, and soon he was ready to leave.

He had a special present to collect.

~

"Jack, I'm home." Tony announced.  
He was exhausted as he finally stepped inside. He had done three days' worth of paperwork in only one afternoon just so he could be home with Jack tonight.

But it had been worth it, Tony reminded himself. Spending Christmas night together meant a lot to Jack, and Tony was determined not to let him down.

Tony closed the door behind him and was surprised when no reply came. Maybe Jack had fallen asleep? But it wasn't nearly as late as other nights when he had waited for him awake just so they could spend some more time together. Besides, hadn't he said he planned to spend the entire morning in bed?  
All the lights were off and Tony had a really bad feeling about this whole situation. Something was definitely wrong.

"Jack?" He called once again, but still there was no answer.

Tony was starting to panic at that point, and put down the package that he was carrying. His hand was already on his gun as he entered the living room.  
Drawing his weapon he switched the lights on with his elbow, and the sight before him took him by surprise.

Jack sat at the set table, seemingly not impressed by the gun pointed at him. Behind him the kitchen counter was filled with all of Tony's favorite dishes. 

"Surprise." He simply said, smiling. "You know, as much as I enjoyed our last time with the handcuffs I'm not sure I'm into guns. Do you mind lowering it?"

"Sorry, I uh... habit." Tony explained, blushing a little. "You scared me for a moment."

"Were you worried?" Jack teased him with a smirk.  
"Of course I was!" Tony exclaimed, before he realized how Jack might interpret that. "I mean... I know you're able to defend yourself," Tony reassured him, "but if anything were to happen to you... I couldn't take it." _'Not after I was the one who took away your gun.'_  
"Don't worry. I like it when you worry about me." Jack assured him. "Shows how much you care."

"Come here now." Jack called him towards him with a finger then claimed his lips in a gentle kiss. "Sorry I scared you."

"Is this all for me?" Tony asked incredulous as his gaze once again fell on the food on the counter.  
"Yes." Jack confirmed with a proud smile. "I tried my best and I'm pretty sure most of them are edible."  
Tony laughed wholeheartedly.

"Oh, wait." He said after a moment, going back towards the door and coming back with the package he had discarded before. "I got you something." He smiled enthusiastic as he handed it to him.

Jack gasped in surprise. "Oh, Tony... you didn't have to."  
"I wanted to." He assured him. "Come on, open it." Tony said, waiting anxiously for his reaction.

Jack tore the wrapping paper to reveal his present, and his face lit up as soon as he saw it.

"So what do you think. You like it?" Tony asked expectantly.  
"Yes!" Jack exclaimed, smiling up at him grateful.

The jacket was beautiful, and Jack knew from experience that leather of that quality mustn't have been cheap.  
"It's great, I love it!" Jack said, trying it on immediately. It fit like a glove, and it almost looked as if it was tailored.

"Good." Tony smiled, relieved. "I wasn't sure I picked the right size."  
Jack chuckled. "You spend all your free time laying your hands all over me, and you think you haven't got my body memorized?

"I've got something for you too." He added, delighted by Tony's surprised expression. "It's not as expensive, but I think you'll like it just fine."  
"Sit down and close your eyes now, I'll go get it."

Jack walked to their bedroom and took a good look around, relieved when he saw the room was still intact.  
His surprise laid on their bed, and Jack picked it up carefully and went back downstairs.

"Ready?" Jack asked as he approached Tony, but didn't wait for an answer. Suddenly, something was put on his lap, and it was _moving_.

Tony opened his eyes, and marveled at what he saw.  
"It's a kitten." He stated, blinking shocked before his smile widened on his face and he started laughing.

He took it in his hands, the kitten so small it could fit on his palm, and got up, looking at Jack excited.  
"A kitten." He repeated pointing at it, as if Jack hadn't heard him the first time, as if Jack hadn't been the one who got it for him.

"Yeah, I can see that." Jack chuckled. "Do you like her?" He asked, but he didn't have to. Tony was _beaming_.  
"Jack, she's perfect." Jack sighed, relieved.  
"What's her name?" Tony asked, still not taking his eyes off of her.

"Well, she doesn't have one just yet." He explained. "I was hoping you'd pick one out for her."  
"You poor thing, you don't even have a name!" He exclaimed, petting the kitten's head carefully. "I want a christmassy name for her, I think." He reasoned, a list of names popping into his head immediately.  
Jack smiled. "Whatever you like."

Tony looked at her for a long moment thinking about a bunch of possible names before he settled on one, his eyes shining. "Jingle." He suggested. "Do you like it? Is it okay?"  
Jack smiled at Tony's happy expression. "I think it's perfect."

"And what about you? Do you like your new name?" Tony asked, looking back down at the fluffy fur ball in his hands.  
The meow that left her mouth was tentative and high-pitched, and it made them both laugh. "Oh, I think she does." Jack commented.

"Hold her just for a second, I'll take my camera." Tony said, unable to resist.  
But Jack stepped back as Tony held her out for him. "Woah, wait. What if I drop her?" He asked, concerned.  
Tony furrowed his brows. "You haven't held her yet?"

"Just to carry her up and down the stairs," Jack confessed, "she was in her box as I brought her into and from the car. I played with her for a while this afternoon, then she just sat on the couch and watched me cooking. I didn't do a lot of... holding."  
"Don't worry, you won't drop her." Tony reassured him with a smile, handing her to Jack and letting go of her. "Here."

"Ouch! You've got claws, don't you?" Jack said, then lifted her up to take a better look at her.  
She was just so cute, and Jack couldn't hold his smile in.

 _Click_  
Jack turned around and saw Tony grinning from behind his camera. "Tony..." He protested weakly. "Why don't you ever warn me before you start taking pictures?"

"Cause you look better when you're not expecting them." He explained. "Raw and real, sometimes even vulnerable."  
_'Who'd have thought I'd ever get to see this side of you?'_

"And I don't need you to strike a pose for me, I like you even when you're slouching." Tony confessed, a hand on the back of Jack's neck to pull him closer into a kiss.

A long and whiny _'meoooow'_ interrupted them and they both laughed.  
"You want our complete attention, don't you?" Jack asked, patting the kitten's head. "Cockblocker."

~

"So, what's on TV?" Jack asked sitting down on the couch beside Tony, careful not to wake Jingle asleep on Tony's lap.

He had insisted he'd do the dishes for once, and Tony had tried to protest, arguing Jack had already done the cooking. Jack had then reminded him he had worked all day and had banished him from the kitchen.

"It’s a wonderful life, a miracle on 34th street, a Charlie Brown Christmas, home alone-" Tony listed as he quickly went through the channels.  
Beside him Jack sighed, and Tony turned to him, confused.  
"That was Kim's favorite." He said, feeling a lump in his throat at the memory. "We used to watch it every year..."

Tony fell silent and a chill ran through his spine at Jack's saddening expression. It had been a long time since Jack had last mentioned her, and Tony wasn't used to seeing him so distraught anymore. He had no idea how to console him.  
"I could leave it on if you'd like?" He offered, not sure whether that would be better or worse.

Jack stared into space for a moment, then shook his head, willing away those unbearable memories. "No. New life, new traditions. What do you say?"  
Tony smiled softly and met his eyes. "I think that's a great plan." He said, closing in on Jack's lips and quickly changing the channel.

In the background Rowan Atkinson was playing around with a nativity scene, but they couldn't hear him, lost in the sound of their breathing, of wet lips against wet lips.

Feeling her human pillow moving around Jingle jumped down from the couch to the floor, but not before having let out yet another indignant meow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder not to buy pets for Christmas if you haven't discussed it with your partner(s) beforehand. It's cute in fics, not so much in real life when they tend to be abandoned soon after.


	11. Chapter 11

For Tony most of the time working at CTU was fine. The majority of the days he just followed leads that ended up being false alarms and then filled up some paperwork.

But when something was really going on Tony could have to stay there for hours. On those occasions Jack would always try to stay up for as long as possible just waiting for him to come home, but a lot of times sleep would get the best of him.

That night was one of those times. Tony had texted him not to wait up for him but Jack was stubborn, and when he finally got back Tony found him asleep on the couch, Jingle curled up on his lap.  
She gave Tony an indignant _meow_ as he lifted her up and placed her on the floor, clearly upset at being moved.

Then for a moment Tony just stood there watching Jack sleep peacefully.  
How different he looked now, Tony reasoned, his mind going back to that first night when Jack fell asleep into his arms, tormented by the ghosts of his past.  
Tony was so glad those days were behind them now.

"Hey." He said, leaning down and shaking Jack's shoulder gently to wake him up. "I'm home, Jack. Wake up."

Jack hummed in response, but didn't move a muscle. "Come on, let's go to bed." Tony suggested. Jack mumbled something that sounded a lot like _five more minutes_ and Tony chuckled.

"Well, you'll have to get up on your own, cause I'm not carrying you."  
Jack opened an eye at that, looking confused and slightly offended. "Why not?"  
The grumpy look on his face made Tony laugh, and after some more convincing he finally managed to lure Jack to their room.

Exhausted, Jack collapsed on the bed immediately.

"I'm going to take a shower now, but I'll be right back." Tony assured him. "You don't have to wait for me, get some sleep."  
Jack nodded, and Tony bent down to kiss his forehead gently before heading to the bathroom.

~

It was incredible how much some hot water could improve his mood, Tony considered.  
As he stepped out of the shower his annoyance for having had to work so late was forgotten, and all he wanted to do was go to bed and be next to his Jack.

When he went back to the bedroom Jack was already back to sleep, a content expression on his face. Tony tried his best not to wake him as he laid down beside him, smiling at that lovely sight.

Still half asleep, Jack reached out for him and brought him closer to his chest, a hand finding its way to Tony's hips, content to just rest it there. "Love you Tony." He slurred.

Tony's heart skipped a beat, and he had to hold back a surprised gasp. It was the first time any of them said it.

He stopped for a moment, thinking about these past few months with Jack. They seemed to have a silent agreement not to bring up their feelings that much, as if they still weren't ready to put labels on what they had, convinced actions spoke louder than any word ever could.

But if that were true why were those three words so incredibly overwhelming? And why on earth would he deny Jack the possibility to hear them back?

"I love you too, Jack." He answered in a whisper, but Jack was back to sleep now, and if he had heard it he didn't show any reaction. "And I promise you, one day I'm gonna tell you when you're awake. You deserve to hear it too."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No plot, just smut. Enjoy!

"Will you pose for me?" Tony asked him one day.  
They were eating dinner, the TV was on but they were only half listening to it, and Tony's question came out of the blue.

"What?" Jack asked, looking up at him incredulous.  
"Just once." Tony continued, his voice pleading. "It won't take more than an hour, and I swear you'll enjoy it too!"

Jack sighed.

He didn't like to be photographed.  
It made him feel awkward and exposed. More vulnerable than he felt comfortable with in front of most people. 

But Tony wasn't most people, Jack knew that. And he had been asking for so long... how could Jack deny him something Tony wanted so much?

"Alright." He said finally, and knew it'd be worth it as soon as he saw Tony's eyes light up. "Really?" He asked, shock plain on his face. He hadn't expected Jack to agree that quickly and without even trying to argue.

"Yeah." Jack nodded. "Even though I don't know what you see in me that you want to photograph so badly."  
Tony looked at him fondly, grateful. "Thanks, Jack. Trust me, you won't regret this."

"Right, then... Where do you want me?" Jack asked, suddenly self-conscious.  
Smiling, Tony got up and held out his hand. "Come to bed with me."   
Jack raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing and followed Tony to their room.

"Undress for me." Tony ordered him, taking out his camera and smiling at Jack's flustered expression. "You look beautiful when you blush, have I ever told you that?"  
Still a bit disoriented, Jack took off his button-up under Tony's hungry eyes, then removed his pants as well, folding them nicely on the chair. 

"Keep going, I want you bare." Tony instructed him, smirking as he turned the camera on.  
Jack looked at him unsure for a moment, but Tony just smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry, no one will see them but us."  
Reassured, Jack nodded and did as Tony had asked.

He stood naked in the middle of the room, and Tony loved the vulnerable look all over his face.  
"Perfect." He mused.

_Click_

Jack gasped softly at the sound.  
It felt more intimate than he had anticipated, and with Tony ordering him around it was sensual as well, borderline erotic.

"Lay down on the bed now, still. On your stomach, and face the window."  
Jack complied, taking a deep breath. This was his lover after all, he had nothing to be afraid of.

Then Tony's voice came again, gentle and soothing, and it helped him calm down. "Arch your spine a bit... Yeah, just like that." Jack could hear the fondness in his voice and it felt so much like home. At that moment, despite how exposed and insecure he had felt just moments before, Jack felt safe.

He heard another couple of _clicks_ before Tony was satisfied with the result.  
"So beautiful." He declared, looking up from his camera with a smile.

He met Jack's eyes, and the look of pure desire on his face was irresistible. After having captured that, Tony walked up to him and caressed his cheek gently.  
"Just a little while more, then I'm all yours." He promised Jack with a smirk.  
The implication behind those words only managed to arouse Jack even more, and Tony smiled as he saw just how much Jack was looking forward to it.

It hadn't been his intent to make Jack so impatient, but Tony reasoned he had taken enough photos of Jack's docile expression with just a hint of surprise. Now he would have a chance to bring out the other side of him, that rough, dominant one that Tony loved just as much.

"Tell me what you're gonna do to me once we're done." He teased him. "Get me hard with just your words. I know you can do it, Jack."

Jack was surprised for a second, confused by Tony's sudden change of behavior. Also, he hadn't put the camera aside. Did Tony really expect him to talk dirty to him while he was still taking photos?

But if that was how Tony wanted to do this then Jack would have obliged gladly.

It took him a moment to get into the right mood, but he quickly grew confident knowing how much Tony wanted him, and it showed in his body language, in how he looked up at Tony with that spark of untamed desire in his eyes.

_Click_

"When you'll get this camera away from me," he started, "I'm going to pin you down."  
"I'm going to rip those clothes off of you, and when I'll feel your bare skin under me I'm going to bite down, leave my marks all over you."  
"You enjoy that, don't you? You love it. To wear my claim, to have a physical reminder that you're _mine_."

Tony's reaction to his words was lovely to see, and it seemed to Jack that for a moment Tony even forgot the camera in his hands completely.

It was at that moment that an idea entered Jack's mind, and he smirked maliciously, unconcerned by the picture Tony took of him as soon as he could remember how to move again.

"Hand me the camera." He said, his tone demanding, loving Tony's disoriented expression.  
"Jack?" He started, but Jack was quick to interrupt him, getting on his feet and grabbing the back of his neck, effectively making Tony meet his eyes. "It's not fair you get to have a memento of me on my knees for you and I'm left with my memories only." He said, his voice deeper and rawer, knowing well it would drive Tony wild, as it always did.

"Unless you don't want me to?" He added, suddenly unsure. Maybe Tony wasn't into that, and Jack needed to let him know that was okay too, he wouldn't have to-  
"No, go ahead. Here." Tony said in a whisper, looking up at him mesmerized as he handed him the camera.

Jack took it in his hands and just examined it for a second. He wasn't a pro but figured it didn't take a genius to make a camera work.

"You're mine." He repeated, glad to have captured Tony's expression right after his words.

_Click_

"Say it!" He ordered, just a hint of his more commanding tone on his voice, and it made Tony shiver.  
"I'm yours, Jack." He said, breathing heavily.

Jack sighed satisfied and took some more photos. A long while passed before he spoke again.  
"Get on your knees and unzip your pants."

Tony obliged, but Jack noticed how much his hands were trembling as he did.

"Is it too much?" Jack asked resting a hand on his shoulder, afraid of having overstepped Tony's limits.  
"N-no, I just-"  
"Good. Touch yourself, then." He said, interrupting Tony as if he didn't care for what he was going to say. They both knew it was just for show, but it had its desired effect as Tony gasped, growing more and more excited.

"And keep your eyes on me." Jack added, and Tony nodded, not trusting his voice.

Jack stepped back then, trying to capture Tony's whole body and not just his face, smiling smugly as he noticed he had succeeded in his intent: Tony was hard as a rock.

It didn't take long before Jack came back to him though, the sight of Tony on his knees before him, stroking his cock lazily and never breaking eye-contact too inviting to resist.

Once he was in front of him again, Jack unzipped his jeans and presented Tony with his cock.

"Suck." He ordered him, happy to have been quick enough to have captured that mix of surprise and lust on his face.  
Tony didn't need to be told twice and wrapped his lips around Jack eagerly, his right hand never stopping.

Jack moaned then, the warmth of Tony's mouth distracting him for just a second before he went back to his photos.

_Click_

He took a photo, then another, then another, then another.  
Tony was beautiful with his cock down his throat, and Jack was determined to immortalize all the different shades of pleasure and desire that graced his face.

Then Tony started to moan as well, and it sent vibrations all through Jack's dick, making him shiver.  
Tony's whines grew louder and more desperate, and Jack was soon able to capture Tony's expression as he climaxed.

That Tony could come just for this, for being on his knees pleasuring him... That sight alone was enough for Jack to reach his own orgasm, and he came down Tony's throat without warning.

When Jack opened his eyes again Tony was looking up at him with a smug smile, and Jack couldn't resist.

_Click_

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from U2's All I Want Is You


End file.
